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What It Feels Like To Tread the Waters of Undiagnosed Chronic Pain



I tread water in the freezing sea. The sounds of the waves crest and the wind are drowned out by the anguished cries of those around me. My limbs feel heavy. The cold pierces my muscles, chilling me to the bone. I'm so tired. Above I see my mother and sister, with their arms outstretched towards me. But they are so far away. The ones in the white lab coats with stethoscopes are closer. I raise my arms to reach them. While they are not close enough to pull me out, they could still hold on to me so I don''t drown. But they don't move. Of the hundreds of them out, only a handful reach out with arms outstretched. There are too many of us willing to help. My energy is depleted now. I've been treading in this sea for too long. I just want to stop

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<p class = "canvas-atom canvas-text Mb (1.0em) Mb (0) – sm Mt (0.8em) – sm" type = "text" content = "This is what it feels like to be living with an undiagnosed medical condition: to be lost in undiagnosed people in a broken health care system.The loved ones too far to help.The doctors, the ones who can help, choose not to be able to find the ways to. " data-response time = "24"> This is what it feels like to be living with an undiagnosed medical condition: to be released in a sea of ​​undiagnosed people in a broken health care system. Your loved ones too far to help. The doctors, the ones who can help, choose not to be able to find the ways to.

My life wasn´t always this way. Up until seven years ago, I was like the majority of others, enjoying my life on the land of the healthy. I only wade into the waters with my severe seasonal allergies and undiagnosed leg pain, blissfully ignorant of those suffering from the shore. Naive I was thinking that all the doctors can help you, if you do so at least treat you.

Then I got sick

<p class = "canvas-atom canvas-text Mb (1.0em) Mb (0) –sm Mt (0.8em) – sm "type =" text "content =" It started out as a painful headache . During the spring of eighth grade, it attacked unsuspectingly during the second lap of the 1600m, despite the severe pounding and the sharp stabs of pain that are inundated my head, I thought I could sleep off the pain: just take it easy for the rest of the day, get a good night's sleep, and the headache would be gone. Except it never left. " data response = "27"> It started out as a painful headache. During the spring of eighth grade, it attacked unsuspectingly during the second lap of the 1600m. Despite the severe pounding and the sharp stabs of pain inundated my head, I completed the race. I thought I could sleep off the pain: just take it easy for the rest of the day, get a good night's sleep, and the headache would be gone. Except it never left

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To this day, it spends every moment with me, transforming into migraines at least once daily. In the beginning, self-medicating with over-the-counter ibuprofen. But in days, my mother's worry grew with my pain. She decided to take me to the emergency room for the first time – and for the last time. The ER doctor blatantly told me I was lying, that I was faking it, and that I was just another teenager looking for attention. I sat there in shock. Why would I be in constant pain? Why would I be tortured by my beloved trumpet or running? Reluctantly inserted the IV into my left arm, delivering fluids and medication, and then scheduled me for a CT scan. After spending an hour in the torture chamber, and another several waiting for her return, she strolled back to my room with a wide smile on her face. “Good news, Michelle. Your CT scan is clean, ”she beamed. “You are completely healthy. The IV drugs sure didn't work, did they? ”I stare at here, disbelief, tears threatening to play. Plastering a smile on my face, I nodded and thanked here. If we walked back to the car in the parking lot, Mom asked me if the drugs really helped with my pain. "No," I said quietly, the pain taking my breath away. “But you think she would have believed me, or listened to me?” I sighed, and digged into the back seat of the car, resigned.

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If only it stopped

<p class =" canvas-atom canvas-text Mb (1.0em) Mb (0) – sm Mt (0.8em) – sm "type =" text "content =" Almost a year after the headaches started, after myriad blood tests and scans, after countless neurology appointments and a second opinion, and after several trials of medications that only made me sick, my health took a turn for the worse.Murphy's law.My body became wrecked with pain: joint pain, back pain musculoskeletal pain, chronic nausea, and the list goes on appointments, medical tests, normal results and either medication trials or, more often than not, blame and skepticism. " data response = "32"> Almost a year after the headaches started, after myriad blood tests and scans, after countless neurology appointments and a second opinion, and after several trials of medications that only made me sick, my health took a turn for the worse. Murphy's law. My body became wrecked with pain: joint pain, back pain, musculoskeletal pain, chronic nausea, and the list goes on. And with that came the repeated cycle of doctor appointments, medical tests, normal results and either medication trials or, more often than not, blame and skepticism.

<p class = "canvas-atom canvas-text Mb (1.0em) Mb (0) – sm (0.8em) – sm "type =" text "content =" And this entire process, during the repeated cycles and the daily chronic pain I have had to live my life. Or at least attempt to be a normal high schooler and now a college student. Those attempts at normalcy have only negatively affected my relationship with doctors – they do not believe that my pain is as severe as I say. " data response time = "33"> And during this entire process, during the repeated cycles and the daily chronic pain, I had to live my life. Or at least attempt to be a normal high schooler and now a college student. Those attempts at normalcy have only negatively affected my relationship with doctors – they do not believe that my pain is as severe as I say.


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