Dear ABBY: One of my dear friends has a nasty habit of commenting snide about people who are overweight. We’ve been friends for over 40 years, and she’s always been that way.
Now that I̵
It does not really hurt my feelings, but it does make her sound like a horrible person, and she really is not.
She is a lover in almost every other respect. I would like to get her to stop this, so what’s your advice?
FRIEND IS WRONG
DEAR FRIEND: Next time she does, say out loud, “Hey, I’m overweight too! Am I disgusting as you say about the other people? I’ve been listening to this for 40 years and enough is enough! You are cute, but when you say these things, you come across as nasty and judgmental. So cut it out! ” (Better late than never.)
Dear ABBY: I take care of my son-in-law’s treasures and have for the past 15 years. I never charged her for that. When she brings me paperwork, it’s always a mess.
I told her I would be her full-time accountant and charge her $ 300 a month, but it’s like getting blood from a prey. I have to ask her every month for my salary.
My husband said I should stop doing this to her. What should I do? I feel that this drives a wedge between us. She owns a small construction cleaning service and earns good money.
GOOD WITH FIGURES IN FLORIDA
DEAR GOOD: Your in-laws may be bothering you with the fact that you want payment to keep her finances in order, but I bet you charge much less than a non-family member would. It’s time to tell her that dunning her for money every month has become too stressful. Suggest that she set up an automatic transfer to your account to cover the monthly fee.
If she does not want to do it, then your husband has the right idea and it would be better for both of you if she hired someone else for these services.
Dear ABBY: I am 41 years old, divorced for the second time, and I have fallen madly in love with a wonderful man. He left a 12-year relationship six months ago. Until just last week, he still had ties with her, but he finally washed her hands. The only thing is that he lied to her to avoid a confrontation. He could not bring himself to stand up to her and tell the truth.
It makes me deep, and it has forced a wedge between us. He does not understand why it hurts me so much and he does not seem to care. I’m trying to shake it, but it’s hard to do. I just need someone to help me get over it. All advice would be greatly appreciated.
HEART BROKEN IN TENNESSEE
DEAR HEART BROKEN: I wish you had revealed what this man is afraid to tell his ex. Could it be that he is involved in you? In that case, it is a red flag. His reluctance or inability to tell the truth is a serious character flaw and not something you should ignore.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.