Pitchfork published a fantastic profile of Justin Vernon, alias Bon Iver, alias the guy who writes songs so sad that he turned a generation of sad boys into sad men. Jeremy D. Larson's work is rich with details about Eau Claire County crooner, but the best is in the first sentence:
"Justin Vernon lights a blunt when he charges his Tesla, which is affectionately called John Teshla."  It's funny to imagine that the man, known for writing lonely songs in the woods, drives the car that Jake Paul prefers. But it is even better that he named it after a wordplay on everyone's favorite former Entertainment Tonight host and composer of the best song for sports theme.
(I is one, four, and five, in that order – though I have some concerns about these groupings. Anyway.)
I was wondering: what would the indie bands I loved a decade ago call their Teslas? So like Justin Vernon, I thought a blunt, loaded my electric car and wrote down some ideas.
- Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Model Y Control
- The Shins: Car-ing Is Creepy
- MGMT: Electric Feel (19659008 doesn't even have to do anything for this)
- LCD Soundsystem: Azealia Banks plays on my house
- Arcade Fire: My Battery Is a Cage
- The Killers: SpaceXman
- Interpol: Obstacle
- Main Tank: Hyperloop Tank (h / t Sean who somehow knew I love to sing "The Reason" at karaoke)
- Broken Social Scene: Anthems for a 48 -Year-Old Baby
- Death Cab for Cutie: I Will Follow You into the Dank Memes
- Radiohead: Karma Police (SEC)
- Strokes: Someday (with reference to Tesla's profitability)
- Strokes: Hard to explain (with reference to Elon's behavior)
- Strokes: You Talk Way Too Much (with reference to Elon's tweets)
- Strokes: Room on Fire (you get th point – Strokes makes this very simple elt)
All to say, read the Bon Iver profile at Pitchfork . It is much more thought provoking than these bad words. And please drop your worst indie-puns in the comments.