Unfortunately, there is no guarantee that one day you won’t find yourself in an abusive relationship, but there are some signs that may help you to understand that this person is an abuser. Apart from most of the people believe, abusers are not only men but women also often become abusers in modern romantic relationships. It is important to recognize the abuser at that stage before the relationship has come too far. Also, if you have a big age difference with your partner, you may want to read tips for dating a much younger girl to avoid problems that may lead to an abusive relationship. So, here are some signs that will help you to see an abuser before it is too late.
1. They are very selfish
This can be seen on the first dates. They talk a lot about themselves and have little interest in you. Moreover, the information that interests them about you is more like interrogation: the place of work, material well-being, the experience of previous relationships, and so on. In this way, they probe the soil and conclude whether they can get near you without any problems and obligations.
2. They are greedy
If at first, the gentleman brings you to a cafe or buys gifts, or a girl, who at the beginning of your relationship never allows you to pay for her, and never asks for gifts. Unfortunately, sooner or later, this ends, but why? You see, their generosity was only an investment. And now, you have to work it out. Don’t justify the abuser’s greed by his or her frugality and remember that the stinginess of such people is not only in her or your wallet.
3. Abusers are very jealous
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This one stems from the previous one. Greed and jealousy always go hand in hand. An abuser is a relationship not only designates territory, but he or she also tries to turn a partner into their property. After that, they become extremely jealous. The object can be your colleague, childhood friend, boss, and even some relative. Yes, they also often manifest jealousy for children and parents. As a rule, they express their jealousy with loud scandals and even beatings. Especially if you are dating a man. Of course, the next day, he or she will assure you that this will never happen again. A very simple lie, but many people believe in it.
4. They are always annoyed and dissatisfied
An abuser will always be dissatisfied with everything you do, how you look, and how you behave. Generally, this is a clear sign that he or she began to show their real face. Also, it may be accompanied by taunts, offensive phrases, and personal insults to you. Of course, you should never tolerate such behavior.
5. They Enjoy Receiving Pity
An abuser who seems to be male or a female whiner, in reality, is very far from a weak and helpless person who has become a hostage to an evil fate. Often, under the mask of a martyr, you can find a skilled manipulator, whose hunts for compassionate people. An abuser will make you responsible for resolving all his or her problems, and, of course, he or she will always blame you for every mistake.
6. They totally control you.
An abuser always needs to know where and with whom you spend your time when you will come home, and who is in your circle of contacts. At first, this may even look like he or she cares about you. However, the abuser has nothing to do with this. If he or she took control of your life, get ready for the fact that they will not agree with some of its aspects. For example, they can “clean” your phone book and delete from it all numbers of other “potential lovers.” An abuser will always notice the time when you come home and will require a report on every extra minute. They believe that your friends influence you badly, and will demand to stop hanging with them. The list of claims and ultimatums varies depends on the situation. However, the goal of control is always the same: they want to completely subordinate you.